The Emotional Coding game was a very challenging task. I always thought that my emotional intelligence was strong. However, I found out through this activity that I have a difficulty in clearly expressing some emotions. The emotion that I thought I was expressing was not understood by any of my team members. I was trying to express excitement, yet no one guessed the emotion correctly. I was shocked at how hard it was.
Looking back, I do recall people telling me how closed or emotionless I can be sometimes. For example, after the death of a very close family member, I hardly showed emotions. While I was deeply devastated over my lost, the emotions never really came out, at least not in front of people I think that my difficulty at expressing some emotions is due to how I grew up. Although my parents are very loving parents, they often lacked open lines of communication with my siblings and me. Not being able to fully communicate with the closest people in my life made me insecure about also communicating my emotions. In addition, growing up I was often teased by many children including my four sisters. As I got older, I built a wall in order to avoid putting myself in a position where I could be hurt once again. Through these experiences, I became a very prideful and defensive type of person. I now understand that I need to be comfortable with expressing my emotions to others. Going forward I will work hard at this.
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