Blogging Topic 5: Negotiation and Conflict

Last week, I asked about manipulation vs. influence. It's a hard question, knowing when you cross the line to doing "bad" manipulation vs "good" influence. Like most ethical dilemmas, the line is fuzzy and moves a lot. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a ethical dilemma. We'll continue to revisit ethical dilemmas as we go through the semester, with the idea that keeping an eye on your core values will help you resolve them.

In class this week, you engaged in a negotiation. Did you think you did well in the negotiation? Were you surprised at your actual score on the negotiation compared to the scores of your partner and other members of the class? What kinds of information and influence did you try to bring to bear in the negotiation? Did your preconceived notions of your negotiation partner influence approach? Do you think your performance in the negotiation reflects your general approach to conflicts in the rest of your life? Were you satisfied with your performance? What can you learn from this negotiation (or from the role play you are working on) that informs you interactions with people around you?

Ethics and Influence

In my opinion, I think manipulation is the dark side of influence. Influence can have bad and good side depending on what your intentions are. If you’re trying to influence people for a good cause, then it’s good. If you’re trying to influence others for your own benefits, then it’s bad. When you take an extra step to try to influence others to change their behaviors for your own benefits, then you’re becoming manipulative. I think the big difference between manipulation and influence is that manipulation takes an extra step to get someone do something the way you want it whether it’s good or bad. When you manipulate someone, you don’t care if the outcomes will affect them negatively or positively. This is when ethic issues come in. It’s unethical to deceive and manipulate others for one’s own benefits.

When trying to influence others, leaders should take into account the people that are being affected by their actions. They should not hide any information and allow people to judge for themselves. In Google’s example, if the company is trying to do things with their search that influenced people, but for the people’s own benefit, then it’s ok. Question is how would we know if the people will benefit from it? What if the company’s is trying to manipulate people in thinking that it’s for their own good?

BUS262 Team6: Blogging Topic 4: Ethics and influence

In my opinion, manipulation and influence are pretty much the same. They both represent an action or process of changing people’s behaviors or opinions. While the word manipulation is often used to describe a negative situation, influence can also be used in a negative manner. For me it is quite clear when influence is crossing the line over to bad. Influence is bad when the end goal only benefits one side. It is wrong and unfair to make people change in order to benefit one or few people. Also, influence is considered bad when the process of influence is done in a deceiving or intimidating manner. People should have the right to make their own decisions based on truthful information without any type of negative forces. A great leader would never have to use this type of influence because there are so many other positive ways of influencing people.

I think people can use mass influence while still staying true to their core values. Many of our nation’s best leaders are known for staying true to their values while influencing many people. However, one person’s values may not be the same as those of others. When influencing people, a person should always consider the people that are being influenced. It is only fair and ethical. Further, when a leader takes into account others, it makes things easier because people will be motivated to follow when they feel that they are being included.

In regards to Google, I think it is ok if the company influences people through its search engines as long as it does it openly and in considerate of users.

Influence and Ethics

I think that the differences between manipulation and influence are quite clear. Manipulation regards to the use of unfair or fraudulent methods to achieve goals, while influence is the power to get other people done something for either personal interests or collective interests. In my opinion, manipulation is always bad because the process involves improper methods. On the other hand, influence can be good or bad, depending on the purpose. If influence is used for something harming the society, then it's bad; but if influence is for the something that will benefit the society as a whole, then it's good. Influence can become playing politics if people focus too much on the process of influence rather than achieving the goal.

We can influence others while adhere to our core values, depending on what the core values are. If the core value is honest, then we will be able to stay true with it because we should not provide false information to influence others. But if we believe that people should always do something at will, then maybe sometimes we cannot adhere to it as we sometimes need to let others do something they dislike. We absolutely need to care about other people influenced, but should we  use the influence weapons for something benefiting the public, then we should go forward even though the interests of people influenced may be hurt.

Regarding to Google's case, whether it's OK for Google to influence people for their own benefit depends on Google's purpose. If Google really wants to improve social welfare and what it does benefits the public, then its influence is ethical. But if Google just wants to manipulate people for its own profits, then its influence is not OK and should be stopped immediately by the government.   

Influence or Manipulation

I believe the difference between manipulation and influence is that manipulation involves using the group or individual for personal gain while influence is more focused on unselfish globally beneficial outcomes. I hate to ever admit this but most of today’s politics feel like manipulation rather than influence. The line between good and bad is very fine. I believe the distinction lies in where it all closely balances out. What I am referring to is at the end of the day is the outcome equally beneficial or is it one sided. If the outcome is weighted on one side then I believe it to be bad. Now this is the problem because it is rarely ever totally balance. I don’t believe it had to be completely balanced for it to be fair but just not completely weighted in the favor of one side. So then what’s the limit? I can’t really say and there isn’t really a standard. I guess to me it’s up to a personal judgment of when too much is too much and the move from influence to manipulation is achieved.

I actually use the techniques for influencing others in order to achieve a task to be completed. Now for me it isn’t something I do just because I want to get it done, I use it so that we can work better as a group. I feel that it’s more o f a motivational tool rather than a system for making others follow you. Most of the time the end goal is to complete the task as a group with everyone receiving the same mutual reward at the end.

In reference to the Google question, I feel that it isn’t right of them to use filtering content like that. Most of the time Google’s top sites are listed because they were paid by the site to sponsor them. Now although as of right now most sites are “Googled” by amount of hits, I can see in the near future Google will see the large sum of revenue they can generate with “filtering” their search results. I think Google is on a path to be coming, in the eyes of the world, as “evil” and “controlling.”

Influencing Others

For me, manipulation and influence are flip sides of a coin. You can't really have one without the other. Manipulation has some negative connotations, but it is - in essence - changing the perspectives on how others perceive you and your ideas. Influence is how you exert force on others and attempt to sway them to your side. There are both good and bad types of manipulation just like there are good and bad influences. For instance, parents would often manipulate their kids into listening to what they say or do what they want. The biggest difference between good and bad sides of manipulation is how we use it. To draw the line is to enforce the idea that what we are manipulating (be it facts, information, people, etc) is ultimately for the best. However, if we spend too much time arguing about why something should be done instead of addressing what should be done, then manipulation just becomes playing politics.

Can you be ethical about manipulating and influencing others? Yes, but we need to take care of how we do so and understand why too much meddling can corrupt the process. We have all heard of the saying "absolute power corrupts absolutely" and someone with all the manipulation and influencing ability holds a great deal of power. It is one thing to turn people towards our ideas and our vision. It is completely another idea to brainwash people into believing them. The former is good influence, while the latter is bad manipulation. We need only to take a good look at the people we use our "weapons of influence" on, but also look at the situation and see it that warrants us using these weapons on it first. It is easy in hindsight to say that a situation required manipulation or influence.

If Google influenced people for their own benefit, it depends on the situation. Why are they influencing others? How far does the benefit reach until it becomes not from the people's benefit and instead for Google's benefit? If a corporation's influence is truly benign and in the interests for the public good then there is no problem and they are using their influence ethically. However, if the corporation is using their influence to control the public, then it is unethical.

Blogging Topic 4: Ethics and influence

This week we had a great guest speaker and we talked about social influence. He mentioned that at Google they are looking at people who have an array of influence skills and strategies. He also mentioned that, as a corporate entity, Google is fighting to maintain a positive public image. Related to that, here’s today’s blog topic: What is the difference between manipulation and influence? When does it become playing politics and misdirection? Where is the line between bad and good – and how do you find that line? As this class arms you with more “weapons” to influence others, we must also take into consideration our ethics. Can you use these "weapons" of mass influence and still stay true to your core values? And, if the easy answer is that it is okay to use these weapons if you are using them in the service of your values, do you need to take into account the people you are using these weapons on? For example, if Google were doing things with their search that influenced people, but for the people's own benefit, would that be okay?

Displaying Emotions

The Emotion Coding game was quite interesting and challenging to me. I was doing quite well at the  decoding part, but my encoding part was poor. I drew the Irritated and Inspiring cards. Two team members understood that I was displaying the inspiring motion, but when I tried to express irritated, my team members thought the motion was bored. This game was quite interesting to me because from it I realized that expressing negative motions was something I needed to work on.

My poor performance at the game reflects my personality in real life. I often do not say "no" when somebody ask for help even when I don't like the person or I am too busy with my own stuff. Also, when my friends ask me if I am OK with something, I never say no even though I don't agree with them at times. Looking back, I found the cause of my difficulty in expressing negative emotions. As a child, I was quite straightforward and often offended other people as a result. My dad told me time after time that I needed to care about other people's feeling and not to express negative emotions easily. Because of what my dad said and the need to make more friends, I tried to change  the way I talked. I become quiet and often hide my negative emotions because I don't want to offend other people.

I realize that hiding negative emotions may help build friendship. But to be a good leader, I need to express feelings like anger and disappointment appropriately. It's hard for me to change the way I talk in a short time, but I believe that I can achieve the goal eventually.

Displays of emotions

I've been told countless times that I look so girly but think and act like a boy (haha!). I grew up around all boys (3 brothers) & 1 guy cousin so maybe my behavior was being influenced by them. When I was little, if I watched a sad movie and my eyes became teary, my brothers would tease me. So growing up, I rarely ever cry in front of anyone. When I was younger, I used to be very talkative. Then one day, I remember my dad was telling me that "you'll learn more from people if you stop talking too much, and start observing and listening more". So as I get older, I become more private and quiet. I now become more of a listener than a talker. When I talk, I make it brief and get straight to the point. I usually don't show my true emotions anymore. Maybe because I'm a private person? I don't want people to know how i'm feeling inside unless I choose to show them. It could be a good thing because under stress or pressure, I still act normal. When I get pissed off at someone at work, I don't show it on my face. I still act normal. Not displaying my emotions can sometimes be a bad thing. I may be seen as being cold. So I need to find the right balance. I need to know when to and when not to show certain emotions. This is something that I need to work on.

When we did our emotions intelligence exercise, I got a low score on showing my emotions to the group. On the other hand, I got a better score on reading people's emotions but it was still a low score. Most of my team members read the cards in monotone so it was way too difficult to tell what emotion they were trying to portray. I had to admit it was a fun exercise though.

Topic 3: Displays of emotion

The Emotional Coding game was a very challenging task. I always thought that my emotional intelligence was strong. However, I found out through this activity that I have a difficulty in clearly expressing some emotions. The emotion that I thought I was expressing was not understood by any of my team members. I was trying to express excitement, yet no one guessed the emotion correctly. I was shocked at how hard it was.

Looking back, I do recall people telling me how closed or emotionless I can be sometimes. For example, after the death of a very close family member, I hardly showed emotions. While I was deeply devastated over my lost, the emotions never really came out, at least not in front of people I think that my difficulty at expressing some emotions is due to how I grew up. Although my parents are very loving parents, they often lacked open lines of communication with my siblings and me. Not being able to fully communicate with the closest people in my life made me insecure about also communicating my emotions. In addition, growing up I was often teased by many children including my four sisters. As I got older, I built a wall in order to avoid putting myself in a position where I could be hurt once again. Through these experiences, I became a very prideful and defensive type of person. I now understand that I need to be comfortable with expressing my emotions to others. Going forward I will work hard at this.

Taking the Emotional Stage

My family and friends have always said that my emotions are written all over my face and that it is difficult for me to hide or disguise them. As such, I am a terrible actor and in the Emotion Coding game it quickly became very apparent. I drew the Pride card twice during the game and both times my group thought I was displaying disgust, which actually didn't surprise me in the least. Pride is one emotion that I feel the least often and thus I have very little idea how to display that particular emotion.

My childhood has definitely shaped me into the person I am today, although in a largely negative manner. As a child, I was, unfortunately, a favored target for bullies on the playground. Because of this, I became very socially withdrawn and pessimistic, a fact has been retained even in my adult life. I find it very difficult to express myself and what I am truly feeling in a large group setting. Even in small groups, I tend to be very quiet unless a question is directly asked to me. Because I'm inexperienced in expressing myself, it is that much more difficult for me to pretend to be "inspiring" or "proud" in the emotion coding game. On the flip side, it is easier for me to show the negative emotions, because I am familiar with how those emotions are felt; although strangely enough all the cards I drew in the game were positive ones.

My mother told me once that I always look at the negative side of a situation rather than look at the positive sides. Realizing this, I have been trying to change it gradually. It's a long road, but unless I change and reflect more on my emotional side, I will never break free from my past.

Displays of emotion

I always thought of myself as being more of a giver and always acting unselfishly so that the ones around me would never have to worry or feel like I wouldn't be there. I often would go out of my way to help my friends who needed rides or help with a homework assignment but always saying sarcastically that it was "a lot of work." I always viewed this as joking, but it wasn't until I reached college that someone told me I was very cold and mean. This came to me as a complete shock. I though I was a selfless happy person who everyone knew they could count on. My core values revolved around being honorable and always finishing no matter what. Emotions didn't really exist growing up, my father was cold because "men aren't suppose to show their emotions." I was also criticized for even good accomplished, similarly how I would make sarcastic comments to someone asking me for help. Because of this I didn't really show I was happy or very supportive of those who were asking me for help. It really hit me when my girlfriend had said that I couldn't always be this way because no one would want to be around me. I had to realign my emotions and realize that it's okay to show emotions in the correct situations as long as they don't control your life.

Blogging Topic 3: Displays of emotion

We'll leave behind the Blind Square this week (finally) and talk a little about Emotional Intelligence and the related concepts.

This week in class, you played the Emotion Coding game. Like most of the games in this class, it was designed to challenge you and make easy success unlikely. For some people, it might have been hard to "be onstage" and for others, it might have been difficult to express emotions. In this blog topic, I'd like you to reflect on the Emotion Coding game and how your performance in this game is associated with the rest of your life.

For example, I remember my mom saying (over and over and over) while I was growing up that it "wasn't what you say, it's how you say it" and I cultivated a fairly sarcastic tone of voice during my high school and college years. I didn't realize it until people started saying I was cynical or unsupportive. To me, a core value is being dependable and supportive. If you need, I'll be there. And, another core value is being positive and believing that everything will work out. So, it was hard to hear people think that I wasn't authentic or that I view the world (and the people in it) in a negative way. I had to check myself and what I was saying, especially when making first impressions, to make sure that my values were coming across. I grew up in an environment in which positive emotions were not frequently or easily expressed (or any emotions, really), because that was not my family's way. Realizing that I have this particular cultural background has helped me bemore aware of my emotional expression habits.

Blogging Topic 3: Displays of emotion

We'll leave behind the Blind Square this week (finally) and talk a little about Emotional Intelligence and the related concepts.

This week in class, you played the Emotion Coding game. Like most of the games in this class, it was designed to challenge you and make easy success unlikely. For some people, it might have been hard to "be onstage" and for others, it might have been difficult to express emotions. In this blog topic, I'd like you to reflect on the Emotion Coding game and how your performance in this game is associated with the rest of your life.

For example, I remember my mom saying (over and over and over) while I was growing up that it "wasn't what you say, it's how you say it" and I cultivated a fairly sarcastic tone of voice during my high school and college years. I didn't realize it until people started saying I was cynical or unsupportive. To me, a core value is being dependable and supportive. If you need, I'll be there. And, another core value is being positive and believing that everything will work out. So, it was hard to hear people think that I wasn't authentic or that I view the world (and the people in it) in a negative way. I had to check myself and what I was saying, especially when making first impressions, to make sure that my values were coming across. I grew up in an environment in which positive emotions were not frequently or easily expressed (or any emotions, really), because that was not my family's way. Realizing that I have this particular cultural background has helped me bemore aware of my emotional expression habits.

Values and Blind Square

Some of the core values that I live by are being responsible, honest, respect for self and others. During the Blind Square task, I was being honest by closing my eyes at all times. Because it was my first time participating in this Blind Square activity, I didn’t know what to do other than following instructions. I have to admit that having my eyes closed and trying to move around for 30 min in my heels wasn’t a fun task. But I did my best to collaborate with the group. I tried to listen to instructions and respected people’s opinions in figuring out the best way to form the square. To be a good leader, I have to be responsible for my tasks. If I don’t perform as well as I expected on certain things, I would be honest and accept my responsibilities, get feedbacks from others, learn from my mistakes and improve the next time around.

During this team-building exercise, our class took a long time to form a square because some of us were inexperienced and there was no process in place. If we keep repeating the exercise, I believe we would be better at it and form the square successfully. When we do something more than once, we’ve gained more experience from doing it. To me, an incentive to do this exercise is to get the job done successfully and gain new experience. To some others, their incentive to do the exercise maybe different. It could be getting extra credit or having joy from doing group activities. I respect people's opinions but I don't have to agree with them. After all, we are all different and we may have different motivations to get any task done.